Kingdom of Hell

Not everyone loves Lundy as much as I do, as this priceless entry from the Hamners logbook testifies…

“Why we have come to this god forsaken lump of rock I do not know. It is horrible. Everywhere is cold and draughty. The toilet is smelly. There is no telly, nothing to watch except the old boat when it comes in, and that’s German. It’s a long way to the shop and the Marisco Tavern. The staff are grumpy with you if you complain. There is sheep muck everywhere and deep puddles. The shop has not got what you want. It is so cold and miserable. No TV. The books are all old and the puzzles and games, that’s if you risk touching them. We will be glad to leave. Your umbrella turns inside out if you try to open it. No street lights! Everywhere looks grubby with cobwebs as well. I go to bed miserable and wake up miserable.

Everyday is the same. We were recommended to walk up to the top lighthouse but turned back as there are so many gates to open. Why is everything so primitive? Good god this is 1996 not 82 BC. At least the eggs are fresh; they are still warm and dirty. When it rains hard and fog some idiot in the castle keeps blowing a whistle or something. It keeps you awake. No television to watch.

One good thing is that there is no annoyance from the next-doors kids but sometimes people walk down outside the gate. More people came off the boat today, a fresh lot thinking they own the Tavern. I shall be glad to go home and never come back.”